Trust

Trust

So while I was laying 4 pallets of sod -two days worth.......... ugh......I was thinking. A while ago you (a general "you") told me that if there wasn't unconditional trust, that authentic partnership would be impossible. Soooo I took the leap, and I trusted. I found that one of the most difficult things ever, and I wavered. I stood my ground - my feet planted firmly in self-reliance, denying that I could trust beyond my own capability. I know my capacity, that resilience and it frightens me. Its so "out there". I've trusted so many times and every single time, yes......every single time I was disappointed. And yet I stayed. I stay still.

Trustworthiness. Being worthy of trust. Shouldn't that be mutual and reciprocal?

d'Artagnan............proved himself worthy (to be a Muskateer)

Renewal

The most beautiful weekend with "the big girls" shifted my operating energy! Ya Baha!! Moving my core energy from one of emotion to the place where the feminine comes from could empower me so!

Sisters of my Soul

We sing so that our voices might be heard. Notes wafting in and out of the breezes of our reality, reminding us of our noble station and to those attributes so long latent within us.

2 A.M.

Tonight I cannot sleep. The words ebb and flow through my tired brain, unrelated at times and painfully clear at others. I wonder if this sleeplessness will do me in as the hour I must awake draws dangerously closer.

I am afraid to put what is on my mind and in my heart to paper because the implications of my thoughts may well be without merit and would then totally disrupt many things. Where to turn? Who to talk to??? I find this night that I cannot identify the subject of my prayers.......so I offer only one, very general prayer. What is it that can shake me? What causes fear to creep into my soul and linger a little too long? Is it fear or is it something else........

The Abyss

You asked me to list 10 Things I LOVE to do. And then, again, you asked me to list 10 Things I Am Good At.

And there I stood. My toes at the edge, looking ever downward......past the trembling of my body, my mind numb unable to comprehend - only to be. Find a thought.........look for a sign......right? left? God, how could I know right from left when I didn't even know up from down?

And now you ask me to list 10 Things I Love?







In the Corporate world we are allowed 3 days bereavement. 3 days. Then its back to work. BACK TO WORK!!! That includes the last day, the planning of the funeral, the funeral, and then.......BACK TO WORK!