Neighbors

As I drove my truck off the driveway and right next to the fence, I greeted my neighbors with a smile and a wave as they marched through the tall dried weeds of the field next door. We exchanged our greetings and they commented on my daily treks into the city. They asked about health care...... well, they asked if I provided health care....... then they asked who I voted for and what did I think of that foreigner as a president......that the whole country is going to hell in a hand basket...... and "we need people who believe in the United States of America" and "they are trying to take away our freedoms and our guns!!" OUR GUNS! I thought this guy had my back at the front end of my driveway!! If I had been standing I would have been taking steps backwards.

It was a 5 minute conversation. Hmmmm well maybe it was more of an interrogation. I found myself stumbling to find the words that would neither offend or inflame their passionate displeasure of our current government. I did not declare my allegiance to an individual, or a country but asked "what of my family in Lebanon"? What of my brothers and sisters in 186 countries all over the world?

I watched as the very mild mannered, sweet Sunday school teacher widened her stance and her eyes glaze over accusing me of not loving my country. The kindness was gone from her eyes. He husbanded "joked" a bit about the conversation, remaining cordial. And then they excused themselves as they had to go to the practice range so she could renew her concealed handgun license.

Lord Help Us!!

Trust

Trust

So while I was laying 4 pallets of sod -two days worth.......... ugh......I was thinking. A while ago you (a general "you") told me that if there wasn't unconditional trust, that authentic partnership would be impossible. Soooo I took the leap, and I trusted. I found that one of the most difficult things ever, and I wavered. I stood my ground - my feet planted firmly in self-reliance, denying that I could trust beyond my own capability. I know my capacity, that resilience and it frightens me. Its so "out there". I've trusted so many times and every single time, yes......every single time I was disappointed. And yet I stayed. I stay still.

Trustworthiness. Being worthy of trust. Shouldn't that be mutual and reciprocal?

d'Artagnan............proved himself worthy (to be a Muskateer)

Renewal

The most beautiful weekend with "the big girls" shifted my operating energy! Ya Baha!! Moving my core energy from one of emotion to the place where the feminine comes from could empower me so!

Sisters of my Soul

We sing so that our voices might be heard. Notes wafting in and out of the breezes of our reality, reminding us of our noble station and to those attributes so long latent within us.

2 A.M.

Tonight I cannot sleep. The words ebb and flow through my tired brain, unrelated at times and painfully clear at others. I wonder if this sleeplessness will do me in as the hour I must awake draws dangerously closer.

I am afraid to put what is on my mind and in my heart to paper because the implications of my thoughts may well be without merit and would then totally disrupt many things. Where to turn? Who to talk to??? I find this night that I cannot identify the subject of my prayers.......so I offer only one, very general prayer. What is it that can shake me? What causes fear to creep into my soul and linger a little too long? Is it fear or is it something else........