d'Artagnan............proved himself worthy (to be a Muskateer)

Renewal

The most beautiful weekend with "the big girls" shifted my operating energy! Ya Baha!! Moving my core energy from one of emotion to the place where the feminine comes from could empower me so!

Sisters of my Soul

We sing so that our voices might be heard. Notes wafting in and out of the breezes of our reality, reminding us of our noble station and to those attributes so long latent within us.

2 A.M.

Tonight I cannot sleep. The words ebb and flow through my tired brain, unrelated at times and painfully clear at others. I wonder if this sleeplessness will do me in as the hour I must awake draws dangerously closer.

I am afraid to put what is on my mind and in my heart to paper because the implications of my thoughts may well be without merit and would then totally disrupt many things. Where to turn? Who to talk to??? I find this night that I cannot identify the subject of my prayers.......so I offer only one, very general prayer. What is it that can shake me? What causes fear to creep into my soul and linger a little too long? Is it fear or is it something else........

The Abyss

You asked me to list 10 Things I LOVE to do. And then, again, you asked me to list 10 Things I Am Good At.

And there I stood. My toes at the edge, looking ever downward......past the trembling of my body, my mind numb unable to comprehend - only to be. Find a thought.........look for a sign......right? left? God, how could I know right from left when I didn't even know up from down?

And now you ask me to list 10 Things I Love?







In the Corporate world we are allowed 3 days bereavement. 3 days. Then its back to work. BACK TO WORK!!! That includes the last day, the planning of the funeral, the funeral, and then.......BACK TO WORK!

Mischief

"Amity and rectitude of conduct, rather than dissension and mischief, are the marks of true faith." ---Bahá'u'lláh

This is absolutely serious......I recently sent an email in response to one I have received. What I read in the email wasn't so much the actual message, though the words in the message were quite strong and well, actually downright rude, but the underlying intent mean spirited. I could have chosen to be indignant, but I found that I truly did want to find another way to respond so as to not inflame the sender. I replied to the email within the hour. I waited a bit and called the sender.........waited a bit more and called again..............and eventually sent a text. That was a day and a half ago and have not yet received a response.

What, you might ask, does this have to do with the quote I've posted? Well, I read it and reflected on what I did next. By the way.......the email was work related. The email, initially was not sent directly to me

JOURNEY

I wonder who I would have been. I mourn the loss of that potentiality. A conversation yesterday had me standing on the edge, a place that was not foreign to me, one that I would usually retreat from. It was that last threshold that keeps me from trusting implicitly, that I looked out from. A fear so deep seeded welled up inside me calling every fiber of my being to retreat. My life's experience told me that this next level of trust - the highest level of trust, held great power for the one to whom it is given. It has the power to do great things or to destroy or handicap.

What happens to a child when the very first person you learn to trust does not protect you? Cellular memory tells you to keep placing that trust because that is where your survival lies. Shouldn't we as mothers also have that cellular memory to "protect"? What does it look like if that cellular memory is missing generationally? It causes a rebuilding from the core. It is a journey that is fraught with pitfalls and incredible joy, highs and lows that give me pause.