I swear I wanted to live my life with no regrets.  At least that has been my mantra......  

Sustainability

Its raining today. Renewal! The leafless trees are blooming bright blossoms that should have shown months ago. Is that how it is in everything? Projects - important projects, appear lifeless and stale, only to revive, if not just in time, and blossom into something awesome. I can only hope.




Projects take second seat to new projects, does that make the old projects any less valuable?

I've lost my tribe.

Neighbors

As I drove my truck off the driveway and right next to the fence, I greeted my neighbors with a smile and a wave as they marched through the tall dried weeds of the field next door. We exchanged our greetings and they commented on my daily treks into the city. They asked about health care...... well, they asked if I provided health care....... then they asked who I voted for and what did I think of that foreigner as a president......that the whole country is going to hell in a hand basket...... and "we need people who believe in the United States of America" and "they are trying to take away our freedoms and our guns!!" OUR GUNS! I thought this guy had my back at the front end of my driveway!! If I had been standing I would have been taking steps backwards.

It was a 5 minute conversation. Hmmmm well maybe it was more of an interrogation. I found myself stumbling to find the words that would neither offend or inflame their passionate displeasure of our current government. I did not declare my allegiance to an individual, or a country but asked "what of my family in Lebanon"? What of my brothers and sisters in 186 countries all over the world?

I watched as the very mild mannered, sweet Sunday school teacher widened her stance and her eyes glaze over accusing me of not loving my country. The kindness was gone from her eyes. He husbanded "joked" a bit about the conversation, remaining cordial. And then they excused themselves as they had to go to the practice range so she could renew her concealed handgun license.

Lord Help Us!!

Trust

Trust

So while I was laying 4 pallets of sod -two days worth.......... ugh......I was thinking. A while ago you (a general "you") told me that if there wasn't unconditional trust, that authentic partnership would be impossible. Soooo I took the leap, and I trusted. I found that one of the most difficult things ever, and I wavered. I stood my ground - my feet planted firmly in self-reliance, denying that I could trust beyond my own capability. I know my capacity, that resilience and it frightens me. Its so "out there". I've trusted so many times and every single time, yes......every single time I was disappointed. And yet I stayed. I stay still.

Trustworthiness. Being worthy of trust. Shouldn't that be mutual and reciprocal?

d'Artagnan............proved himself worthy (to be a Muskateer)